The Independence Movement
Part 1a: What Women's Independence Means for Me
On the eve of India's 67th Independence Day, I have been thinking quite a bit about what freedom and independence mean for women, and why they SHOULD mean something. Also, what factors would make, and break, a successful movement for women's equality. My focus is on the Indian cultural context, but I'm sure a lot of this applies to other cultures as well.
So what do I mean by independence for women?
1. Above all, Emotional independence. This is a basic requirement for happiness for anyone, male or female, married or single. The more someone depends on someone else's actions/ support/ approval to be happy, the less control they have over their own emotions, and the less secure they feel. This, in turn, means that they
a) cling more desperately to their spouses/ kids/ parents/ friends, trying desperately to control their actions and even their thoughts. Or,
b) they spend countless hours convincing themselves and others why other peoples' kids/ husbands/ in-laws/ decisions/ looks/ houses/ clothes/ jewelry/ etc. etc. are not as good as theirs.
I will admit that at times in my life, I have been somewhat guilty of (a). I'm human and I'm still learning. But not really (b) though - I don't think that's me. Which is why (b) irritates the heck out of me. What a waste of a brain, precious time, and energy.
2. Independence of expression. The right to have an opinion (even if it differs from the 'mainstream' or that of the men in the family), to voice it (without fear of retribution), to be heard, and to make decisions. Not to make decisions for other adults, but for themselves, and for their children. In some cases these should be joint decisions, in some cases women should have the freedom to make their own choices. Why? Because every human being needs to feel like they have some control and some worth in their own lives. Otherwise, they are no different from slaves or animals.
3. Physical independence. Control over their own bodies, and the ability to get around without having to be in fear or be dependent on men to protect them. I won't get into detail on the 'control over one's own body' topic. There is plenty of opinion in the media on that nowadays. What may not be clear to everyone is that lack of physical safety and freedom of movement has a real economic and social cost. Economic, because women (like me) who need to travel on work find themselves unable to go places they need to go alone. Which means we need extra security (costs money) or extra personnel (male colleagues who can go instead of the women (again, costs money). Social cost, because then the travel-constrained women are held back in their career development, or simply unable to go out and socialize as much as they would like. Isolation is not good for any society.
4. Financial independence. There is a reason I've listed this last - because in the absence of 1 through 3 above, #4 doesn't mean much. By advocating financial independence, I don't mean that stay-at-home moms are any less worthy than working women. I do think, however, that every woman should have:
a) the ability to earn a comfortable income if she so chooses (or is forced to choose by circumstance). If she chooses not to work, that's fine. But she needs to have the ability to support herself and others if the need arises.
b) a basic understanding of where and how money is being earned, spent, and saved.
What do I NOT mean by women's independence?
I do not ascribe to any philosophy which suggests men should be inferior to women, or makes it ok for women to blame men for everything that is wrong in their lives. We need mutual respect in order to co-exist. I think the right kind of men can be good allies in our movement for freedom.
Having described my definition of independence, I will next give credit to the allies who have helped me get the independence I have.
