Here goes...
It's been two years now since I first thought of starting a blog. I've always had the inspiration to write about the many lessons life has taught me, and some that I am still yet to learn. But for the longest time, I wasn't sure it would serve my purpose - i.e. to help others with similar challenges. After all, who was I to think I had the right answers?
But over the course of time, I have realized that we human beings don't usually solve our problems by copy-pasting someone else's advice verbatim into the document of our own lives. So we all don't necessarily have to agree on a single viewpoint. And we don't have to take it personally when people disagree. Simply STARTING a discussion about a difficult issue can spark ideas, debate, and finally, help us create our own solutions to problems. My intention is just to start discussions on important issues which aren't always discussed. I don't think I have all the answers.
First and foremost, this blog is about learning to take responsibility. For shaping our lives, for our own happiness, and for creating our own solutions.
Second, it is for anyone who has ever felt like a victim. Several years ago, I heard someone say "There are no victims, only volunteers", to which I retorted "easy for her to say, she isn't trapped in a hopeless situation like me". Now I know without a doubt that victims are just people who haven't found their power yet. All they need is a change of perspective.
I should know. I've been there. For the first 34 years of my life, I was a scared, powerless victim of what I believed to be my unchangeable fate. I had a challenging childhood, which led to low self-esteem, and therefore to a poor life decision made largely out of fear. Largely my fault for giving into imaginary social pressures. Naturally, 9 more years of victim hood followed.
One has to break down completely in order to break free. So when I finally broke down, 5 years ago, I decided never again to live my life like someone else was pulling the strings. I chose to live like everything WAS going well for me, like I ALREADY HAD everything that I needed, and that I would take each day and live it like it was the only one I had.
As a result, I became a much better mother than I had ever been (in spite of having just become a single parent). I found confidence at work, built a wide network of new friends, played with my 3-year old like I WAS a three year old, and found things to laugh about with him every day. People who met me even a few weeks into this change said that even my outward appearance had been transformed. Along the way, I discovered a powerful spiritual practice that aligned perfectly with my new found attitude.
Does this mean that my life is without challenges now? No, and it never will be. I believe in karma, but I also believe in our power to influence and transform it. Life will keep throwing us challenges until we learn the lessons we are meant to learn. It is up to us to change the poison into medicine.
So here goes. My attempt to pay it forward. I hope it helps someone, even if just a little bit.
